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[08 Mar 2006|10:47am] |
clean slate.
www.livejournal.com/~hellomarylou
xx
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(panic)
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| nepenthe. |
[09 Feb 2006|11:05am] |
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mood |
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if i hate you fuck off |
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music |
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no one really wins this time |
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i wanted nepenthe as my new username so fucking bad, but of course someone had it. it means "an Egyptian drug (perhaps opium) used to dispel sorrow through forgetfulness"
DAMMIT.
strawberry milk is god. the scarlet letter is only good for the vocab words in it.
ive realized that one reason i left livejournal was due to the fact that everyone speaks in almost a code language intended to make sense to close friends. well fuck you to those who do that because you shouldnt add people who are only going to be, excuse the terminology, but lost in translation. i like random bursts (see below), yet when you say "OMFG YERGLE IS SO TRUDY". what the fuck is that. if i say one of these things (with the exception of saying MEESH... because that should be her legal name anyway) kick me or something.
on a lighter note, i would love to mail my valentines to you. send me your address to PANICpandemic@aol.com and i will mail your my little pony valentine ASAP. even if i dont know you... i actually like sending the random ones out better anyway. you can throw it away if you would like. just to know you possessed it is enough for me.
orions belt is never too far.
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[02 Feb 2006|09:43am] |
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music |
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screaming oasis in the car |
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i dont know what to say, but i have a feeling it will sound negative.
i'm trying not to be.
i want to be content by myself, and i know that i am not. i love my friends so fucking much, and thank you for listening to me rant lately. you know who you are.
a night doesnt get past me without looking at the stars. ive wanted to live on orion's belt since i can remember. it reminds me of my childhood. i realized i spent my whole life as a kid wanting to be older, and now that i am i just want to be a kid again... some things i wish i didnt know.
my dad is in paris rite now. i have the feeling im not going to see him very much anymore. i have so many problems with him, but when it comes down to it i love him so much. its something you cant get from your mom... i dont understand it.
ive been smoking too god damn much lately. i cant cut down. everything is surreal lately. my mom finally saw my cuts last night. ive had them about a year. shes oblivious.
if ive been distant to any one of you lately i am sorry. im trying to be alive without the drama. everyone tells me i need a boyfriend. maybe i do. but for right now i would like to see the real me. with nothing and no one attached.
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[26 Jan 2006|11:27am] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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tv family. |
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livejournal is back BITCHES.
im home<3
ive realized blogs may be more inciteful to a person than a picture.
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| haha *takes breath* hahaha |
[12 Nov 2005|06:49pm] |
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music |
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self conclusion |
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remember the DARK brown hair?
....yeah me neither.
im at wonnies.
lovelovelove
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| fuck. |
[11 Oct 2005|10:55am] |
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graphic design blows.
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| KABOOM. |
[20 Jun 2005|04:15pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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i crashed my car today.
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| say wha?! |
[13 Jun 2005|04:50pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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by the way, this is my pink mullet my father so despises.
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| how may licks does it take to get to the center... oh screw it. |
[13 Jun 2005|04:32pm] |
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music |
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the mooney suzuki |
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last night. my mom cleaned out my car. and im sure she smelled EXACTLY what i didnt want her to.
friday=park. and some fun shit.
saturday=another park. lame kickback. starbucks. sniff sniff (no one will understand this).
i sprayed my hair hot pink. (not telling dear old dad it was temporary) and he cussed and said "what the FUCK did you do to your hair?! and you have a mullet! GAAAH" hahaha he's still bitching about the mullet part.
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| yoko ono likes trash bags. |
[01 Jun 2005|10:31pm] |
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music |
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"hard-core is only emo lyrics screamed to sound manly." |
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"then hes all GIGGIDY GIGGIDY and on chappele's show wayne brady was like 'AM I GOING TO HAVE TO KILL A HOE?!' and in that movie from the seventies yoko ono comes out of a trash back from onstage and you only see her face squirm out"
...iamsoentertained.
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| summary of weekend: |
[29 May 2005|10:12pm] |
- parks=fun with no cops.
- champagne is my new favorite thing ever.
- darth vador is a moron.
- green lighter is god.
- my future husband works at the candy shop. (real.fucking.beauty.)
- random drunk people put their numbers in my phone.
- 12 year olds compliment my make-up. i find this one sad.
- hammy saved my life.
- my car smells like mold.
- i lost my camera (this is where you say OH SHIT!)
- life is a sexually transmitted disease.
relationships only fill voids for insecure people. (my own advice for those who have to constantly be in someones attention or is consumed with the fear of being alone).
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| MUY IMPORTANTE. |
[25 May 2005|08:26pm] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
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so uhh....
is it normal for hair to fall out after dying it a ton of times?
its not that much. just enough to make me sick.
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| i got peanut butter on my ring. |
[17 May 2005|06:45pm] |
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my history teacher asked what hot hot heat song he had in his head. so i said "goodnight goodnight". then he gave me a cracker and peanut butter.
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| vanilla ice hearts prince |
[07 May 2005|04:56pm] |
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music |
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kiss me, im contagious |
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hey kids. i learned that me and my sister are both wierdos that like to play lemon and ponder whether humans can ride a giraffe like a horse or not. she decided you need a latter, i decided elephants are better.
i think i will be getting a job soon, to support my habit of going to shows and buying cd's. im thinking maybe tower or a book store... something like that. any ideas??
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| lucy in the skyyy with diamonds. "everyones listening from the bus moron" |
[14 Apr 2005|08:37pm] |
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mood |
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grendel faces! AAA |
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music |
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acceptance--permanent |
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hello loves. i am back from europe, but seeing as though i cannot find my cable that connects my camera to the lap top, no peechures. well, not until i find that stupid thing...
it was fantabulous- 10 days of another country, another language, another everything. i missed you dearly. i think you know who you are. and sadly, i am not allowed on the internet. i was just checking my SAT scores, so i figured i might as well let you know i am alive.
lately: i miss hollywood, third street, a few people who seemed to have disappeared, shows, the internet, my daddy, and an outlet that allows me to plug in my appliances WITHOUT causing a fire.
...oh and i am blonde again. woopdeedoo
pictures soon i promise. i slept with the cable and camera on my bed, then when i woke up, camera:YES. cable: NO!
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| i'm a mess, i guess. |
[17 Mar 2005|08:55pm] |
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mood |
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contradictive |
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music |
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embers and envelopes - mae |
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my two loves: rainbow brite and black and white.
Embers, we're burning bridges down.
Envelopes stuffed with feelings found.
To write this down as means to reconcile.
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| don't waste the pretty. |
[09 Mar 2005|09:55pm] |
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music |
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copeland - "coffee" |
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i had nothing to do for two hours.
so i got coffee. the really cute guy behind the counter gave me looks. probably because i looked like hell and was getting extra-caffeinated coffee at night. i think it was the first time anyone had told me to have a good night and at least look like he meant it.
i went to the park since i had no where else to go. i pulled up by thre curb where we always used to park. i pulled my seat back, opened my sunroof and all my windows as cars passed by, not thinking twice about why they are going where they are. i put on copeland and listened for about an hour to lyrics i can only dream of becoming a reality to me. i finally love the song "brightest" after tonight. i looked up at the stars that im sure no one else was taking the time to notice were out tonight. i closed my eyes and i could swear i felt the swift motion of the world turning, and noticing everyone else speeding off and not realizing what precious hours they were spending on something that had no relevance, no meaning, and would produce no memories in their life.
so for now, i drink my coffee alone. maybe someday i will go to an all-night diner with someone and talk for hours over a cup. if im one of those lucky people. maybe.
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